Run Away

I'm involved in a book club and our book this month was Beach Music by Pat Conroy.  I read the book 20 years ago soon after it was published and in typical Mary-fashion, only reread the first couple of chapters before the meeting.  I loved the book so much it was one of the few books I brought with me when I moved here and walked into the club meeting expecting everyone else to have loved it. Boy was I surprised.  Not only did some people say they disliked it, but one guy claimed it was probably the worst books he had ever read.

Why did this book resonate with me?  The story is about Jack McCall who ran away to Rome with his young daughter after his wife's suicide.  Not only was he running from the trauma of losing his wife, but also the dysfunction of his family back in South Carolina.  

In 1983 my younger brother took his own life.  And my family life went from dysfunctional to down right chaotic. I ran away.  I landed in Western New York. I did not cut all ties with my family but my visits were short.  And exhausting.  It really wasn't safe to come home until my parents passed.

It's not that I didn't love my parents but I did not like their drama.  Many families, if not most, have issues and dysfunction behind closed doors.  But my family wore it as a badge of honor.  In the early 70's, my dad won an award from the state of Maryland for a series of inspirational stories against littering.  Soon after, we received an anonymous letter probably from a neighbor asking why,  if my father cared so much about litter, that he didn't clean up his own yard?  From then, our unkept yard became more like a junkyard.  That's just the way they were.

Many of Pat Conroy's books tell the dark stories of suicide.  They also paint the vivid tapestry of the lure of the sea and tidal waters.  I spent 30 years in Rochester but didn't realize how much I missed the smell of the sea and the calm of the tidal marshes until I came home.  I love sitting on the dock, catching crabs, watching egrets and being hypnotized by the rhythm of the tides.  I'm happy to be home.